[Words on screen: Tonight's guest is in the box]
S: Alright, this week's guest has arrived. Highly popular among high school girls.
Ogura: Highly popular among high school girls?
A: Which means they're the trend now right?
S: Yes, they're the trend now.
N: That's right. If you talk about high school girls, then they should be the trend now.
Ogura: And a little what? Actually they're a little rich?
S: That's right.
Ogura: Prime Minister Hatoyama's wife is popular among the high school girls. But that wouldn't be a little then.
S: Alright, let's introduce the guests for this week. Please!
Jaru Jaru: Hello! We're Jaru Jaru.
S: It's the 2 people from Jaru Jaru! Please look after us this week.
Fukutoku: Hello! Please look after us.
Narrator: Tonight, Jaru Jaru, who are in their big break, sink into smelly food. And with Ninomiya san's strange hypnosis...?
N: Who is the artist you are the most irritated with?
[Words on screen: Revealed later]
N: Ok, wake up.
Narrator: An unthinkable disclosure!
A: Impromptu artist...
Narrator: Furthermore, with tonight's revived Aiba land that's not been seen in a long time..
M: Brother Katsuo...
Narrator: Matsumoto san suddenly embarrasses himself!
M: Can I do it again?
Narrator: Arashi no shukudai kun starts now!
S: Once again, our guests are the two people from Jaru Jaru! Please take care of us!
Jaru Jaru: Please take care of us!
S: On the box, it writes that you are popular among high school girls, please have a look at this board. The artists with the next big break, as selected by high school girls.
1) Jaru Jaru
4) Monster Engine
5) Fruits Punch]
S: Jaru Jaru in first place!
Jaru Jaru: Thanks!
N: You must be something real to be able to suppress Yuti and be in first place.
Gotou: This is not right for us to say this, but amongst these people, Yuti is currently in the slumps.
Fukuto: Stop it!
S: Are you thinking of moving forward into Tokyo?
Gotou: Well, I wonder.
Fukutou: Well, there are still places we want to go in Osaka.
N: But which one do you appear more in?
Fukutou: Well, as I thought, it would be Osaka.
S: Oh, which means you appear a lot in Osaka right?
Gotou: We had 7 programs in Osaka.
[Words on screen: Regular programs in Osaka: 7 programs!]
S: Eh? 7 programs!
S: So you appear on TV everyday?
Fukutou: Well, with indecent talking...
S: It's written on the box too, that you are rich. Both of you?
Fukutou: Well, in Ashi Ashi of Hyogo prefecture, I have...
S: Ashi ashi is...
N: It's here! How many LDK? How many LDK?
S: That's too straightforward!
Fukutou: Well, more than how many LDK it is...
N: How many LDK?
Fukutou: Will you only say how many LDK? Well, if you talk about that, it's about hundred square feet.
A: Woah, that's huge!
N: That's why I'm asking you how many LDK it is!
Gotou: To better understand it, he has a sauna in his house.
Fukuto: I've had it since I was young, so when everyone went to the public bath and got excited over the sauna, I thought there was something wrong with these guys.
[Words on screen: Looking down on others!]
A: I was surprised by that!
S: Well then, let's move on.
Ogura: A homework from the guests to the viewers. Please research and suggest food that are smelly and delicious.
S: Why smelly-
Ogura: This is the worst.
N: This is the worst.
Fukutou: When you watch TV, there's a lot of smelly food right? Everyone says they can't eat it right? But it's food, so it can't smell that bad right?
Gotou: Because we don't have any experience.
Ogura: I think a few girls in the audience will faint.
Gotou: That bad?
N: If you go and eat with your friends, they'll probably say you're smelly.
Narrator: Today, for that smelly and dangerous food, we have categorised them according to levels. Jaru Jaru, prepare yourselves!
A: Really, there's a level where you will lose your consciousness.
Fukutou: Lose our consciousness?
A: So we have prepared this, please!
Fukutou: What is this?
Ogura: Do we eat it inside this?
A: No. For those who really cannot bear it, please go into the "refresh box"
N: That's the opposite way! Come here!
Fukutou: But it's food.
S: That's right...
Ogura: We should be able to eat it!
A: I would like to start from Level 1! Here!
A: Yes, it's cheese.
S: Looks delicious!
A: It's a cheese called Ribarou.
N: Doesn't it look really delicious?
A: Wait, wait, *smell it. Smell it!
S: What do you mean "smell it"?
A: Smell it. Smell it.
Gotou: It's a dialect. A dialect.
S: You mean smell it right?
[Words on screen: Because of it's strong odour, there are people in France, its country of manufacture, who stay away from it]
Gotou: This stinks!
A: It stinks, but if you can overcome that...
Ogura: You want to eat something smelly right?
N: Do it again.
Ogura: You want to eat something smelly right?
Gotou: We want to eat something smelly.
Fukutou: We're tucking in!
Ogura: If you eat it, it's nice right?
A: Is it delicious? Is it delicious?
Fukutou: It's delicious, but it's smelly!
Gotou: This is the real thing right?
N: You can't leave it. Because it's already inside. It's inside! You can't leave it.
Gotou: We can't escape.
Ogura: What's wrong?
Fukutou: No matter where I face, it...
Ogura: Can you not talk beside me?
Gotou: This is smelly, we cannot take it.
Gotou: You're smelly.
S: What is that?
Fukutou: It tastes like delicious top grade cheese, but really smelly cheese.
M: This is level one right?
A: This is level one.
Fukutou: This is level one?
A: Let's have someone challenge it.
Fukutou.Gotou: Yes, yes. Let's have someone try it.
A: Shall we play scissors, paper, stone? 1,2.
Everyone: First is stone. Scissors, paper, stone.
S: Hey, wait!
A: The one who wins ok?
[Words on screen: The people who won]
N: Then let's go with the one who wins?
A: The one who wins.
S: That was dangerous.
A: The person who wins.
[Words on screen: It seems that the person who wins eats it]
A: It's a delicious treat right?
Fukutou: What was with that high five?
S. Fukutou: First is stone. Scissors, paper, stone!
[Words on screen: Winner Sakurai Sho]
N: That's a good expression!
M: It smells like fish.
S: Yes, it smells like fish.
N: What's up with this?
M: He's really eaten it. Eaten it.
N: Didn't he do too much?
S: Ah, so it's that kind of thing. So it's that kind of thing. When you talk...
A: This is level 1. Ogura san, level 2. Open!
Gotou: Ah, the colour makes it smell bad.
Fukutou: What is this? The colour makes it smell bad.
M: What is this?
A: This is Pura Hoku.
N: Uwa, it smells bad!
Ogura: This smells bad!
Narrator: This is small fish that has been left fermented for several months. Cambodia's food seasoning. Pura Hoku. The unique salty spicy taste goes well with raw vegetables.
N: This stinks!
Gotou: This is an intense smell.
A: There is nowhere in Japan which uses this as a food seasoning.
M: This is, this is...
Ogura: He's entered it! This is really bad.
Fukutou: To eat this...
M: This is impossible. This is like cat dung.
Ogura: That's why I said, you want to eat it right?
Fukutou: We still...
A: You want to eat it right? You want to eat it right?
N: I'm going to turn my eyes away from this...
Fukutou: This is idiotic, this is impossible.
A: Woah~ this stinks!
N: This smell is really bad...
Fukutou: Hey! Isn't that too much?
A: It stinks!
Gotou: It stinks!
A: Shall we go for it?
Fukutou: Prepare our breathing...
Gotou: 1, 2.
A: What's that
[Words on screen: Froze]
N: Bite it, bite it, bite it!
A: Is it delicious?
Fukutou: What's the point of making that? It was so smelly that it's not about whether it's delicious or not.
M: Thanks for the hard work.
Fukutou: Not yet, not yet.
Gotou: Aren't you going to eat this for us?
A: We're doing scissors, paper, stone!
S: We've not had a situation before where at this point of time, our tension is not high.
A: We're doing scissors, paper, stone!
Ogura: 10 seconds before scissors, paper, stone.
A: You're not the staff! Shall we do scissors, paper, stone?
O: Really? Really? Really?
M: 1,2. First is stone. Scissors, paper, stone!
N: Do your best!
[Words on screen: Sakurai 2nd consecutive win]
Ogura: That's amazing!
M: I want that to be disposed of.
A: Sho chan, do your best!
Fukutou: You can do it!
Gotou: It's delicious!
A: Do your best!
S: I'm going for it.
A: Put it in, put it in.
Ogura: Have a safe trip!
A: How is it? Doesn't it taste nice?
A: Puke bucket?
S: This is bad, the things that I puked out are too smelly.
M: But this is only level 2 right?
A: That's right.
A: Everyone, the general's entrance.
[Words on screen: Smelly Level 3]
Gotou: What is it? What is it? What is it? This is bad.
A: Because it's too intense-
N: This is bad!
A: -it's inside a box.
Gotou: Just what is this?
A: This is the Korean dish, steamed Hono.
N: What is steamed Hono? If you translate it, it's stingray sashimi.
A: Hey, I'll say it so please wait!
[Words on screen: Day duty]
N: The second point, if you steam it-
A: I'll say it, I'll say it!
N: the stench will-
A: I'll say it!
Fukutou: The stench will?
Fukutou: Ah, I see.
S: If you eat too much, there's a possibility that the skin of your tongue might peel.
[Words on screen: Due to the intense ammonia smell, if you eat too much, the skin of your tongue will peel]
M: You're kidding!
A: I'll say it all. I'll say it all later. Don't say too much.
N: Then, please film that separately.
A: Eh, eh, the food is good right? Shall we smell it first?
A: This is the type of smell. Go ahead.
M: It's here.
Gotou: This is amazing.
N: Because it has a strong ammonia smell right?
Gotou: Ammonia smell.
S: So the smell just keeps coming?
Gotou: This smells like the temporary toilets that you find at camping grounds.
S：Ah, that's amazing.
A: Shall we go for it? Can you eat it?
Gotou: I can't eat this!
N: Wait, wait!
N: You're going to open this?
A: Yes, I'll open it.
[Words on screen: Retreat]
N: Everyone, enter! Aiba kun, can you enter?
Gotou: Isn't it over the capacity?
Fukutou: It's just right if Sakurai san comes out.
S: Ah, that's right! If I enter, it'll become smelly right?
S: This is really smelly.
Ogura: Hurry up and eat it!
Fukutou: Let's all 3 do it together.
S: Yes, the smelly trio.
Ogura: Don't put it on the table!
Gotou: Let them have it!
Fukutou: This can't be opened at all. This can't be opened at all.
A: On the contrary, it's smelly! I said it makes it smelly on the contrary!
Ogura: Hurry up and eat it! Damn it!
Fukutou: What are you doing? What are you doing? Seriously.
S: Hey, this can't be eaten right?
O: Can you eat this?
A: We'll eat it. We'll eat it. Please dip it in some spicy sauce and eat it.
N: It stinks!
Ogura: There was something like this.
A: Dip it once and eat it.
Fukutou: This stinks.
Fukutou.Gotou: We're tucking in.
M: Let's put a cover on you.
Fukutou: What are you doing? Ah~ it stinks!
Ogura: Ok then, won't Sho kun go for it?
Ogura: Didn't you just win at scissors, paper, stone?
[Words on screen: It seems like they played scissors, paper, stone]
S: What is that person..? What is that person talking about?
A: Since Ogura san said that, Sho chan go for it!
S: What is that person talking about? A dream? Is this a dream?
N: At the start of the year, in a bad meaning, he's really pitiful.
S: Let's do scissors, paper, stone. Let's do scissors, paper, stone.
A: The person who wins ok?
AMNOS: First is stone, scissors, paper, stone!
S: Why is it like this? Why is it like this? I have to lose. I have to lose. I have to lose.
A: First is stone, scissors, paper, stone.
S: Why is it like this?
O: Yay, I did it!
S: Why am I so strong at scissors, paper, stone?
M: Let's go for the last!
A: First is stone. Scissors, paper, stone.
[Words on screen: Sakurai 3rd consecutive win]
S: I want to be weaker at scissors, paper, stone!
M: You should be thankful right?
S: I'm tucking in.
A: That's good. That's good.
N: Where is the puke bucket? You should bite it more.
Fukutou: If you don't bite it...
Gotou: Breathe in.
S: Please capture me.
Gotou: Capture you?
N: This person wants to challenge it.
Gotou: All you have to do after this is swallow it.
Fukutou: Yes, swallow it.
S: As I thought, I can't do it!
A: Ogura san, and that concludes everything.
Ogura: Jaru jaru's image shukudai. What did they do last night?
S: This is a private corner where we start with the viewer's message.
M: This is from Jaruko san in Chiba prefecture. Because they had a recording in Osaka last night, Jaru Jaru just looked on and didn't give it their all.
A: What's with that?
N: So it means you have that image...
Gotou: No, no...
Fukutou: It has nothing to do with Osaka or Tokyo. We do our best in both.
S: So, at any rate, you want to emerge in the Tokyo scene?
Fukutou: No, our hometown Osaka is more..
Gotou: Of course, we will treasure Osaka at the same time.
M: But that really means you will appear in Tokyo right?
Gotou: No, no, at the end of it, it's still Osaka...
N: You'll find a house soon...
Fukutou: We will stay in Osaka.
S: Ninomiya san, even if we ask them like this, they won't tell us the truth. So, I would like to suggest that.
N: What? What?
S: By hypnosis.
A: Oh, that's good. Hypnosis is good.
S: Have you ever been put on hypnosis?
Gotou: I think that's a bluff.
N: I'm shocked!
Gotou: But it's a bluff right?
N: To think there were still people like that in the 21st Century. Well, shall we do it straightaway then?
Gotou: Can you show us a demonstration?
[Words on screen: Firstly, a demonstration]
N: You'll be in it in a blink, alright? Let's go for it. Alright, you're in it.
[Words on screen: He's been hypnotised]
Gotou: You're kidding!
N: Ok, ok. From before, you've done something which you hid from the other Arashi members right? You will reveal that hidden something in the midst of a conversation, as though it were nothing. You got it right? Ok, you will wake up feeling good. Ok, you're awake! Ok, you're awake!
S: Coming out into Tokyo...
N: Yes, coming out into Tokyo
S: is within their vision.
N: They're definitely thinking about it.
Fukutou: I wonder.
A: Jaru Jaru has a lot of work in Tokyo.
N: Yeah, it's not like you don't want to do work in Tokyo right?
Gotou: Of course. It's not like we don't want do work in Tokyo.
Fukutou: But we want to treasure Osaka, and also treasure Tokyo.
S: I see. I lost the video you lent me. I see.
N: You're in it. You're in it.
Gotou: He's in it.
N: Ok, open your eyes, open your eyes. You're awake. Good morning. Sho kun, are you alright? Leader, do you have something you want to say?
O: The video...
O: ...you lost it?
N: That's not possible right?
Gotou: You lost a video?
A: What video?
M: What type of video?
N: What video?
O: Well, I'm not too..
[Words on screen: Suspicious video?]
M: But that belongs to leader right?
O: It's probably not mine.
N: Eh? So you borrowed it too?
O: I borrowed it too.
N: From who?
M: How about putting the hypnosis on leader?
O: That person.
[Words on screen: Formerly Aiba's video]
Fukutou: It's better to disclose what it is.
N: You're in hypnosis. You will now reveal the contents of that video within the limits of it being appropriate for broadcast. 3, 2, 1, ok. You're awake. Good morning. You're awake. You're awake! You're awake! Sorry, but..
Fukutou: He's awake. He's awake. I think he was hypnotised too deeply. Good morning.
A: Ah~ I see.
N: Are you busy recently?
A: Well, there are a few things. As Arashi, there are music programs, and there were a few things that we did for the first time.
M: Do you record those programs?
A: Yes, I record them.
N: And for example, among them, do you have any that you would like to lend leader?
N: Like something leader would like and you would like to lend him?
A: Well, XX type. [Words on screen over Aiba's mouth: Secret]
Fukutou: This is amazing hypnosis!
Fukutou: Amazing hypnosis!
N: Ok, you're awake!
N: So it'll end up like this. Yes.
Gotou: That's scary.
Fukutou: That's scary!
S: Shall we start with Gotou san?
Gotou: I don't think you'll be able to hypnotise me.
Gotou: That's what I believe.
N: Have you seen stuff like that on TV?
Gotou: Yes, I have.
N: Ok, you're in it.
Fukutou: Eh? You're kidding!
N: Ok, shall we go for this while you're in a state of hypnosis? You're thinking of emerging in Tokyo?
Fukutou: (mouths) Is this real?
N: Truthfully, you don't put all your energy in Osaka programs except in your enthusiasm...
N: Truthfully, the artist that pisses you off the most in Tokyo now is?
Gotou: Wagaya's Sugiyama.
N: Ok, you're awake.
N: Good morning.
Fukutou: Just that. It's a bit...
S: Which artist are you on good terms with?
Gotou: Well, there is this program called "Red Theatre"
Gotou: I'm on good terms with the members in there.
A: In the "Red Theatre" team, you're on good terms with everyone?
Gotou: Yes, I'm on good terms with everyone.
Fukutou: Yes, we're really on good terms with each other.
S: How about Wagaya san?
Gotou: We're totally on good terms. Yes.
N: And who's the one you talk to most amongst these three?
Gotou: Ah, the one who talks most to me is Sugiyama san.
S: What do you talk about?
Gotou: Well, he gives me advice about what was good that day or what I should have done, and I'm really thankful for that.
N: I see.
A: You're on good terms.
Fukutou: Ah, Jaru Jaru is, Jaru Jaru is on the path of destruction.
N: What does he mean it's on the path of destruction?
S: Shall we do that?
N: Oh no. He's the pattern of already being into hypnosis.
S: Let's go for it. Let's go for it.
Ogura: So you're in it?
[Words on screen: Already in hypnosis?]
Fukutou: But I'm not in it.
N: Alright. Ok, shall we go for it? Shall we ask you? Do you think every minute, that recently Gotou san has become a boaster?
Gotou: Oi! Wake up! Wake up!
N: If there're any solid reasons or episodes, please tell us.
Fukutou: He doesn't put on make-up in Osaka.
[Words on screen: No make-up in Osaka programs?]
Gotou: No, no, no.
N: I see. Shall we ask other questions? Who is the artist that you hate?
Fukutou: Wagaya's Sugiyama.
[Words on screen: As a combo, they hate Sugiyama?]
N: Ok, you're awake.
S: How're you feeling?
Fukutou: No, I feel very refreshed.
Gotou: You said I don't wear make-up in Osaka right?
Fukutou: No, well, this person doesn't wear make-up on Osaka programs.
Gotou: Don't bring that up!
Fukutou: Why is that?
Gotou: Because I have soft skin that doesn't require make-up ya.
N: Which is it? There are too many ending particles, which one is it?
Aiba: Because ya.
Fukutou: He's gradually becoming a character which nobody understands.
Gotou: Because I have soft skin that doesn't require make-up!
A: Shiodome, Aiba land, in short!
A: Good afternoon! That's correct. We're doing it!
S: This corner...
A: You thought this corner ended right?
S: Yes, we thought so.
N: So it didn't end?
A: It didn't end.
S: This year too.
A: For the first episode after such a long time, I would like to do this.
Impromptu artist game!
Narrator: In this game which darkened all of Arashi's expressions in an instant, the players will sing an impromptu genre singing of a selected passage. Well, it's exciting to see who will be chosen right?
N: Ah, I don't like this.
A: Do your best! Everyone, do your best!
N: What should we do our best in?
A: Don't complain
S: Isn't this a game?
A: We're going. This is the first.
M: You've gone and done it.
A: "Don't mind small things! That's Wakachiko, Wakachiko" In what style?
S: No matter what style it is, it'll be difficult.
M: This is difficult. Isn't there something else?
A: School anthem style.
Gotou: I see.
A: To be sung by Sakurai kun.
S: I'm not doing well today.
N: Aiba kun is amazing.
S: I'm not doing well.
Gotou: How do you do this?
Fukutou: I'm so envious.
S: Ok, I understand.
A: Are you ready? School anthem style. 3 seconds before we go. 3, 2, 1, start!
S: Don't mind small things! That's Wakachiko, Wakachiko.
[Words on screen: New year?]
A: Ok, thanks!
M: That's new year right?
Ogura: It sounds like *"Trying out new things at the start of the year" right?
Gotou: That's right.
Fukutou: It was totally like it.
A: And the next topic is, "Nice shot, hey president! The *fairway is in the middle."
N: The flow is good.
A: Love Ballad style.
Gotou: Love ballad?
A: Love ballad style. This is difficult. To be sung by Ogura san. Ogura san, please!
Fukutou: President! President!
N: This is the first time we're listening to him.
A: 3,2,1. Start!
Ogura: Nice shot, hey president! The fairway is in the middle.
[Words on screen: Spectacular!]
S: Ogura san, you're really good at this!
A: He's really good at this corner!
N: He brings it all together right?
A: The next topic.
N: I see.
M: What? What?
A: "The train is coming in on the first platform. It is dangerous, so please stay behind the white line." Musical style. This is something new. Who's going? Gotou san!
A: It's alright if you dance at the same time.
Gotou: Ah, in front.
A: Yes. Whilst doing a turn or something.
N: Doing that might make it even more musical like.
A: We're going for it. 3 seconds before,2,1, start!
Gotou: The train is coming in on the first platform. It is dangerous, it is dangerous, behind the white line, behind the white line, please stay behind the white line. What is this?
Narrator: After this, with his love ballad, Matsu Jun has an unexpected embarrassment?
A: And the last one. This is last ok? "Mama, brother Katsuo has it all, it's unfair." This is *Tara chan right?
N: Did Tara chan say something like that?
A: Love ballad style.
N.M: Love ballad.
A: And the one to bring it to a close for us is this person. Matsu Jun.
M: This is idiotic.
N: This is difficult.
A: This is difficult, the difficulty level is quite high, so do your best.
N: He just said in a small voice which nobody heard, "this is idiotic".
A: He said "this is idiotic"? He's entered it?
N: He entered it. Into the idiot state.
A: He entered into the idiot state?
M: Eh? Love ballad? What is love ballad?
S: But he puts his all into thinking about it.
A: Then shall we go for the last?
M: Ah, alright. It will be difficult either way.
A: 3 seconds before, 2, 1. Start!
M: Mama, brother Katsuo...has it all...Can I do it again?
[Words on screen: After this, revenge with punk style?]
A: Was it difficult to get into it?
M: Yes, it was a bit difficult to get into it.
Narrator: Today's excellent student goes to Yonjun san of Tokyo who suggested steamed Hono. And the program is also accepting letters from viewer's of their image of what Chutoriaru did last night. Please keep suggesting!
A: 3 seconds before, 2, 1, start!
M: Arashi no Shukudai kun, every Monday night at 11:50pm. Please look forward to it!
*Smell it: 'Nioi' is smell, but to ask someone to smell something is 'kaide', so Aiba messes up his Japanese here.
*Yes: He doesn't really say "hai" but it's hard to translate it otherwise
* "Trying out new things at the start of the year": A new year song. You can hear the song in the background.
*Fairway - a term used in golfing
*Tara chan - From the anime, "Zazae san"